The real breakfast of champions.

I know what you're thinking. If this is the breakfast of champions, the champions in question would be the kings of high cholesterol and bad indigestion. Please don't imagine that British people eat this every day, (despite what some TV shows and movies may have you believe), the word we need to understand here is moderation, like alcohol and other treats. That being said, I'm sure there are many who happily scoff this down with 10 cups of tea every morning, but they are probably not the healthiest or smallest of folk.

My parents are determined to make Neil and I nostalgic for all things British when we are home and cook this feast for us every day. The truth is, it is also a very good meal to eat if, like me, you are watching your carbohydrate count, although, a true full British breakfast would also include toast, baked beans and sometimes potatoes, cut into chunks and fried. Occasionally there would also be fried bread; an extremely scary side dish of a piece of bread deep fried in hot oil. The bread acts like a sponge soaking up all the oil until it is completely saturated but crispy on the outside. We didn't have that.

So, generally speaking, the full British breakfast includes sausages, bacon, (usually unsmoked and coming from the loin), fried mushrooms, some type of tomato, an egg, cooked in many guises, beans and toast. Neil and I have many rules about the tomatoes. Tinned tomatoes are OK, but please drain them of the juice, I really don't want my bacon and sausage to have to wear a floating device. Better to use fresh, cut in half and fried, cut side down until they become slightly charred and soft. The egg can be many things, fried, poached, scrambled or boiled (rarely), but my father has devised a new method he saw on an American TV show. Coddled eggs, as he calls them, are fried eggs, cut into with the spatula while cooking to produce a harder yolk, (see above).

Many attempts have been made to gentrify this hearty breakfast. Quivering eggs poached gently in water laced with vinegar, their tendrils floating around like jelly fish are one such popularised healthy option. Grilled bacon and sausages, rather than fried, are also common. Boiling mushrooms produces a juicy, sweet nugget, but some think the mushroom already consists of so much water, it is best to shrink and intensify them by frying. In most restaurants or cafes now, the choice of bread is as wide as the choice of coffee or tea in a North American coffee shop, but most people still stick to white or possibly wholemeal. Neil and I still cook this behemoth of a meal for brunch most Saturdays and it is very common to also eat this for dinner, both in the UK and I imagine also in North America. Perhaps eating it for both breakfast and dinner on the same day may be asking for trouble.

I'm not going to give a recipe for this meal, but instead some tips:

Firstly, timing is very important in creating the ultimate fry-up. Everything should be piping hot and ready at the same time, so a warming oven, aluminium foil and warm plates are a good bet, as is a microwave to just heat up the entire meal at the end.

Generally, I put the sausages on first as they take the longest, either under a grill or in a pan. I have also had some success with baking them in the oven, generally cooking them for around 20 minutes, turning half way through. You can use a little oil to stop the skin sticking or tearing or even a few tbsp of water which evaporates away and gives you a healthier option.

The bacon can be cooked early and wrapped in foil to keep warm, which I think is the easiest option, as you need to cook the eggs last and they usually take less time than the bacon, if you want it really crisp.

The mushrooms and tomatoes can be fried at the same time and in the same pan as the sausages or simply baked in the oven, perhaps with a little salt, pepper, some herbs like thyme and a little drizzle of oil or a small pat of butter. Sometimes, I chop the mushrooms into pieces and fry along with some chopped bell peppers and tomatoes to create a sort of thick sauce to accompany, allowing the tomatoes to break down and soften. A few drops of balsamic vinegar or lemon juice and some herbs help this, as does a little chili powder to create a fiery alternative. It's also perfectly OK to serve some type of green with this meal, as in the broccoli above, but it may gain you some raised eyebrows.

In most restaurants and cafes in the UK, you will be served some toast with this meal, with a basket of several different types of condiment to spread on it. Usually marmalade, several types of jam, such as strawberry, blackcurrant and raspberry, peanut butter, honey and sometimes, if you're really lucky, marmite. Some places will offer alternatives to the bread such as crumpets, muffins or croissants, but this can ruffle a few traditionalist feathers.

You can stick all the elements of this breakfast between two or four pieces of bread and have one of the best things you've ever tasted. If you decide to try this, some cheese, tomato ketchup, HP brown sauce, mayonnaise or even mustard will increase it's gorgeousness even more.

Please, please don't forget the pot of tea, and milk, please, not cream.